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FAU to Big East?!

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http://spectrum.buffalo.edu/article.php?id=40007

Buffalo turns down Big East offer
DAVID SANCHIRICO - Sports Editor

Commisioner Mike Tranghese of the Big East Conference was shocked when Buffalo rejected his offer to join the elite group over the weekend.
  It didn't take long for someone to notice the success of Buffalo's athletic programs this year. Early Saturday afternoon, Big East Commissioner Michael Tranghese offered the University at Buffalo a spot in the prominent conference.

  After a few days of pondering, Athletic Director Warde Manuel and his staff declined the offer and made it official that the Bulls will remain in the Mid-American Conference.

  "Why would we want to move into a bigger conference? We're starting to finally dominate all these second-tier Ohio and Michigan schools that have community college standards," Manuel said. "The University at Buffalo is the flagship of the MAC, and we like the position we're in."

  The Big East selection committee favored Buffalo over four other candidates, including Xavier of the Atlantic 10 Conference and Memphis from Conference USA. After Buffalo's rejection, Tranghese extended the offer to Florida Atlantic University of the Sun Belt Conference.

  Tranghese was surprised by Buffalo's decision. Though Florida Atlantic, located in Fort Lauderdale, provides the Big East with another location in the Sunshine State, Buffalo offered a stronger athletic program.

  "[Buffalo] is an up-and-coming program that has gained the support of the community. They would have been a great addition to our conference," he said.

  Tranghese downplayed Manuel's decision to remain in the MAC by comparing the locations of both schools.

  "Fort Lauderdale is heaven, while Buffalo is a hellish tundra," Tranghese said. "The more I think about it, I would rather make a school visit to a university where I can lay on the beach and stare at blondes all day rather than go ice fishing on Lake Erie."

  Head coach Turner Gill supported Manuel's decision. Though the Big East is a Bowl Championship Series (BCS) conference, Gill believes his team has a better chance to succeed in the mid-major conference his team is currently playing in.

  "Why would I want to play teams like Syracuse and UConn? Programs like Kent State and Akron are academically inferior programs compared to our fine institution here," he said. "Beating them on a consistent basis raises the morale of our athletes and the school pride of the student body," he added.

  For the first three years of his tenure, Manuel pushed his program for Big East acceptance. He invested more money into Buffalo's athletic program and got boosters on board to give the teams academic stability.

  But Buffalo's teams improved over time and began flexing their muscles against their MAC counterparts. Even though Manuel believes his program is on the same level as Big East schools, he wants to continue to reign over his current conference.

  "Look at Memphis in their conference. They knock the snot of their competition and get on TV all the time because of their dominance. I'd rather beat Eastern Michigan by 30 in basketball on ESPN than squeak by DePaul all the time on Time Warner," he said.

  With every MAC program struggling with funds, Manuel sees this as an opportunity to increase Buffalo's prominence in the conference. He sees himself as somebody who was able to improve a program struggling with athletics into a power.

  "We're the Roman Empire of this [explicit], they other teams the Barbarians," Manuel said. "You ever see the first scene in the movie Gladiator ? 'Nuff said."

  New MAC commissioner Dr. Jon Steinbrecher was greatly relieved by Manuel's decision. He sees Buffalo as the cash cow for his conference and hopes the Bulls can continue their dominance.

  "The only reason I took over the MAC is because of that Western New York program. At least their school is in a city that has more than three strip clubs, unlike the trailer park communities that house Ball State and Eastern Michigan," Steinbrecher said. "I need to see some naked women to get over the fact that my career has digressed to the extent that I had to take over a deteriorating conference. If Buffalo left, suicide was a viable option."

  Manuel thought he could gain control over Steinbrecher and the MAC if he kept his school away from the Big East, helping him come to the decision to stay in the conference.

  "That dude Steinbrecher is my main [explicit]. That's all I have to say about him," he said.


Additional reporting by Staff Writer Joe Paterno.


*April Fool's Issue Disclaimer - The content of this article was published as a "joke" and may contain invalid or false information.

GO OWLS!
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

EPIC!

;D

I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick @$$ and I'm out of bubble gum.

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Re: FAU to Big East?!

That's just mean. LOL. I got so excited and my heart jumped.

I'm a proud lifetime member of the FAU National Alumni Association. Are you a member? Join now at www.faualumni.org.
Tradition in the Making, One Alum at a Time…
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

ha ha ha…….

Nice Dusky!
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

LoL, I figured when it said "these Ohio and Michigan schools with Community College standards" that it had to be a joke.


On a side note, all you need to transfer into Buffalo is a 2.5 and 24 college credits.  I'm guessing it was a joke about them being academically superior to Akron and Kent State…LoL.
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

I wish!
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

April fools guys!!!


GO OWLS!!!

You can run kitties, but you can't hide!!!
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

OMG so its true!!!!!  jk
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

I believe it all. Big East here we come!
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Re: FAU to Big East?!

Dude I about shit myself. Good one though!
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