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Just to get away from recruits for a while

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Just to get away from recruits for a while

Check out # 20




http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/6424026


Some crazy stuff is bound to happen in Miami
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Dayn Perry / FOXSports.com
Posted: 1 hour ago



In case you didn't notice, it's that Super Bowl time of year.

That, of course, means it's also that gambling time of year. So phone your bookie, raid the piggy bank, call Ditech, sell your china ? whatever it takes to get in the game. And speaking of "getting in the game," we at the Funhouse are here to help you. Confused about what bets to place? Worried about the odds? Let not your heart be troubled.

f you're sweating the Vegas spread or fretting the over-under, you've come to the wrong place. But if you're looking for an edge on other things that figure to go down during Ex-El-Eye, then you're right where you need to be. What follows are your board-certified Funhouse gambling tips for the Super Bowl! *

(* - If you lose your ass, then you've got only your ass to blame.)

1. Odds that you'll be able to eyeball an interior lineman without a tribal-armband tattoo: 5-1.

2. Odds that the Bears' best downfield play is something other than defensive pass interference: 3-1.

3. Odds that Peyton Manning bitches at an offensive lineman: 1-50.

4. Odds that Rex Grossman gets busted in a compromising position on South Beach: 1-1.

5. Odds that Bill Belichick manages to show up and act like a giant baby in an interview with Solomon Wilcots: 2-1.

6. Odds that Billy Joel manages to have a booze-fueled motorcycle accident during his singing of the National Anthem: 1-2.

7. Odds that Prince forces CBS to go to black with an impromptu halftime version of "Gett Off": 4-1.

8. Odds that, in the culmination of a stunning ruse that dumbfounds the Republic, Barbaro makes the ceremonial coin flip: 1,000,000-1.

9. Odds that someone out there believes Barbaro is still alive: 1-5.

10. Odds that Barbaro and Fidel Castro will somehow be mentioned during pre-game festivities: 1-1.

11. Odds that the animated FOX NFL robot shows up and attacks Phil Simms: 100-1.

12. Odds that, by the fourth quarter, a healthy preponderance of viewers will be hoping the FOX NFL robot shows up and attacks Phil Simms: 1-100.

13. Odds that Rex Grossman will be distracted because he's looking forward to partying on Lincoln's Birthday: 1-1.

14. Odds that whatever Brian Urlacher caught from Paris Hilton affects his performance in the fourth quarter: 2-1.

15. Odds that Lovie Smith, in a rush of conscience, reveals that he's not actually a black coach and has been wearing makeup this whole time just like C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man: 1,000,000-1.

16. Odds that Tony Dungy, in a rush of conscience, reveals that he's not actually a black coach and has been wearing makeup this whole time just like C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man: 4-1.

17. Odds that somewhere out there Edgerrin James feels like a tool right now: 1-50.

18. Odds that he's with Eli: 1-25.

19. Odds that Ricky Manning Jr. will be freaked out by all the laptops: 1-10.

20. Odds that Miami and FAU are still fighting: 1-1.

21. The odds that Bud Light broadcasts a commercial so mind-numbingly stupid that a sparrow's soul catches on fire and dies: 1-100.

22. Odds that, while in Miami, Rex Grossman will sign on to participate in ABC's inaugural season of "Dry Humping with the Stars": 1-2.

23. Odds that Roger Federer will show up and beat the Colts: 2-1.

24. Odds that Gloria Estefan somehow, someway manages to inflict herself once again upon an unsuspecting populace: 3-1.

25. Odds that, although he's retired, Paul Tagliabue is somewhere in the darkened haunts of South Florida and up to no good: 1-1.





FAU - THE REAL SLEEPING GIANT
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Just to get away from recruits for a while

See how quickly FIU lives it down. Doesn't happen that way with Miami. GO OWLS!!!

You can run kitties, but you can't hide!!!
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Just to get away from recruits for a while

They fixed the error. Notice there is no way to e-mail this so-called "expert".

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Just to get away from recruits for a while

No way to e-mail the expert. I need to become an expert ;D

GO OWLS!!!

You can run kitties, but you can't hide!!!
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Just to get away from recruits for a while

there is a place to email them. I did that last night. I told them I put the article on a public message board that get hundreds of viewers a day. I'm just getting started at work. I can't open it to desribe where it is.
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If you go to the bottom of the page on the link there is a link called "Feedback". That will open up a page to make comments and send them to Foxsports.

FAU - THE REAL SLEEPING GIANT
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