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Exit 39's "Mortal Locks" for Week Four

As promised, here are my "Mortal Locks" for week Four:

ULM vs. FAU Owls -4.5

All the statistics say you should take the points, but there's better chance of me standing up during a Boca Raton town hall meeting and saying the holocaust was made up than betting against the Owls...Off colored? Yeah it is but itís my article and youíre reading it. And PS, I dig Jewish chicks. Overall, the Owls have some defensive dudes coming back and Alfred Morris has enough street credit to tear up the weak defensive front of Louisiana. My pick? Morris goes Kobe on ULM and Owls win big. 3 Units.

North Texas +6.5 vs. MTSU

Vegas doesn't do much due diligence for the Sunbelt games since they don't bring in the money. Riley Dodge is back for the Mean Green and they're a new team in 09'. MTSU had a great win vs. Maryland, but the ACC does a better job at stealing from the Big East then they do on the field. They're fairly matched teams and, with the home field advantage, take the points. 3 Units.

Bowling Green +17 vs. Boise State

I love the freaking Bronco's. Former coach Dan Hawkins, who's having a miserable life at Colorado, was calling in passing plays during the last minute of the Humanitarian Bowl just to cover the spread - they were already up by 20 points with under a minute left to play. The FREAKING Humanitarian Bowl!!!! It was great. I cleaned up on the game, and in such good spirits, donated a portion of the money to needy third world citizens - The Asian Massage Parlor: bow-chicka-wow-wow. The 2009 Bronco's have a chance at a BCS game and are going to play hard and blow everyone out. So why do I like Bowling Green with the points? Because I'm not a gullible freaking idiot. The Bronco's are still a mid-major, while Bowling Green is a great mid-major team too and they're playing at home. I'm on it like stink on poo. 5 Units.

Bonus Picks for Sunday NFL action:

No way Madison Mark Avenue Sanchez wins three straight. Tennessee is too good to go 0-3, and I like the Titans. Donít even know what the line is but Kerry Cocktail will finish the Gang Green off like Scotch on a Tuesday morning. Titans 2 Units.††

Like any successful wagering service I collect for services rendered. But, since I actually make a living and don't need 10% of your hundred dollars of winnings, just email some "provocative" pics of all smoke shows you characters get because you were splashing Alexander Hamilton's all over the bar at Wackadoo's. Or whatever you kids call the on campus bar these days.

- Exit 39 02'


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