Introducing: Exit39's Picks of the Week
Now, I want to be clear that there are a couple of rules if you are going to follow my lead. Never bite off more than you can chew. If you’re some 150lb freshman guy there’s no way you’re going to sexually satisfy the power forward on the woman’s basketball team. It’s just not in the cards dude. Stick to what you know - like the 120lb “smoke show” from Palm Beach who’s looking to crush it in the back seat of her Daddy’s Beemer. Rule number one: Don’t bet more than you can handle. If you got a thousand bucks you shouldn’t be betting more than fifty a game.
As Yogi Berra, the greatest catcher of all time, said: “It’s déjà vu all over again.” Parlays, teasers, reverses, etc. Bookmakers eat these sucker plays up. Every year you’ll see the same degenerate not learn a lesson - they’ll win 70% of their games but come out a loser. Don’t be “Mr. Parlay Guy”. If you can bat .750 you’re killing it. You’ll be paying for rounds at Duffy’s and catching the eyes of “smoke shows” all over the place. And you’ll probably even have enough money left over for the trip to Planned Parenthood. Rule number two: Stay away from the sucker bets. Play like Yogi, and not like Mike Piazza - who batted for the wrong team. No, I’m not talking about the Mets.
Those are my only rules. So, get ready for my “Mortal Locks” which will be posted on Saturday’s around noon. Enjoy your week and remember condoms are for sailors but baby momma’s will take your bank roll.