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FAU Football Weekly - Volume I

So, I was driving in this morning with my left knee at 10 o’clock and my right knee at 2 o’clock, texting my bookie…uh, I mean buddy with my left hand and playing FreeCell on my laptop with my right hand when my cell phone rang causing me to spill my hot coffee that I had balanced in my lap and it dawned on me that the big bad burly Owls begin their back breaking bid to be bowl bound for the third year in a row this weekend!  The call turned out to be from one of my edupunk gang members who was looking for a place to have his wedding, I had to put him on speaker phone because I was just about to win my FreeCell game, he told me the ceremony would have lots of irreverent singing and dancing and would be funded by a distant Nigerian relative that recently contacted him via e-mail to let him know of a large inheritance so I suggested he call the FAU Library and see if he could use their facilities. 

The Owls start their journey this Saturday evening in Lincoln, Nebraska home of the Nebraska Husky Corn Guys.  It must be the scheduling but we seem to play the schools with the wackiest nicknames.  I did some research and they used to be the Nebraska Fat Corn Guys but that was deemed too off putting, they actually have a tribunal in Nebraska that rules on whether things are “off putting” or “on putting.” 

Interesting sidebar #2 – Lincoln, Nebraska is one of 4 possible answers to the trivia question – Which four states capitols are names of former US Presidents? 

Talk amongst yourselves and when you think you know the answer raise your hand and wait for me to call on you. 

The Husky Corn Dudes are ranked #24 in one of the polls, don’t ask me which because there are about 429 different polls out there.  According to my bookie…dang, I mean buddy, the Corn Dudes are 22-point favorites over the big bad burly beloved Owls.  Memorial Stadium will be rocking with over 85,000 people in attendance because there isn’t a whole lot more to do in Lincoln…I kid, if there are Nebraska fans out their in fau-l land this is all in fun, I’m sure Lincoln is a great place to live (yawn…oops, was that out loud?) 

I traded in the Winnebago as a part of the cash for clunkers deal so my crack staff and I will be traveling to Lincoln in a Smart Car!  It looks like a clown car from the circus when we unload, it’s complicated but with a series of bungee cords and duck tape (is it duck or duct, I prefer duck, actually I prefer chicken over duck, I digress about ducks) we manage to fit 11 people in and on and around the Smart Car.  The model I bought runs on double A batteries, trouble is you have to buy 2,347 batteries and 2,347 battery chargers…more duck tape. 

Interesting sidebar #2 – the Nebraska cheerleaders are called the Husky-ettes.

See ya next week for Volume II.

But until then...

Go Owls, fight, win, fly, burrow, bite, scratch, claw, squawk, and generally pester those Husky Corn Guys!  Hoot Hoot Hoot Hoot!