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Football Weekly Vol IV - This is not a test

We finally get a home game at beautiful June Lockhart Stadium!  It’s really kind of sad when a team resorts to bad mouthing a woman in their nickname, I mean come on really:

Loose E. Anna Monroe?  E. Anna has a mother and I am sure she is not happy about this.  I don’t know if I can even say their nicknames on a G-rated e-mail but suffice it to say it rhymes with Chore Locks.  I’ve heard that Paris Hilton is their mascot (no offense meant to all of her fans).  As you might expect, Loose E. runs a spread offense. Look for the Owl defense to try and penetrate the line and force the spread out wide.  I look for the Owls to be on top most of the game.  Look for Loose E. Anna to play zone defense to allow FAU to advance and score at will.

I was contacted by June Lockhart to be a part of the halftime festivities for this weeks game.  She asked if I could drive my Smart Car festooned (I like that word, it’s Greek from “fesitval” and “cartoon” meaning a festival of cartoons, look it up if you don’t believe me) with balloons on the field.  It would have been a great honor for me but the Smart Car is in the shop, it seems that some of the duck tape and rope used to secure members of my crack staff made their way into the little engine and one of the squirrels that run around in their got sick from the stick’um on the duck tape and he started puking all over the other squirrels and it reeked havoc with the rubber bands and paper clips that help hold things together. 

NEW FEATURE – A game day quiz.

What was the last name of our fifth president?

This famous Marilyn allegedly slept with JFK, Robert Kennedy, and Joe Dimaggio (Joe married her but the allegedly still sticks) but is no relation to our fifth president? 

This famous doctrine was named after our fifth president and basically said “Don’t tread on the US , trespassers will be shot on site”?

What lip piercing is placed off-center, above the upper lip, and is meant to resemble a beauty spot? 

What is the name of any Scottish mountain with a height of over 3,000 feet?

 I got my ticket yesterday and I will be seated in Section 104, Row 16, Seat 17, I will be wearing an FAU t-shirt and an FAU hat so I should be easy to spot.  Stop by and say hello but please no flash photography.  In addition, the first 549 fans who correctly answer all 5 questions above will get a gift, but you must stop by and see me in person, the entry fee is $20 and must be paid in cash at the time of answering, your $5 gift card from Home Depot will be mailed to you at my earliest convenience.  I look forward to seeing you all at the first conference game of 2009.
Go Owls – Hoot, Hoot, Hoot

Interesting side bar #1 – there were no interesting sidebars this week because everything else was so darn interesting.